Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Getting old in Florida

Getting old in Florida

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.

A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench.
After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'
**********************************************************

Two elderly people living in Orlando , he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse.
The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'
After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes. Yes, I will!'
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?'
He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ' Yes' or did you say 'No'?'
He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued, 'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'
**********************************************************

A man was telling his neighbor in
Melbourne, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it is state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'
**********************************************************
A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Tampa,
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids
**********************************************************
I am sorry you didn't get your Christmas card. I mailed them but I heard from others they were not delivered. I wonder why...

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Occupy Wall Street FLEA Party

New name for the Occupy Wall Street protestors.....

The FLEA PARTY!

Do you think you pay enough taxes?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Bonus Bucks Trivia Answers CNBC Million Dollar Portfolio Challenge

Today's Bonus Bucks Trivia Answers from CNBC Million Dollar Stock Portfolio Challenge

1. Which of the following is NOT true of the 'Death Shirt' that's included in October's John Wayne Auction?

  • C. It has a red stain from fake blood.

2. What is the third most dangerous job of 2011?

  • D. Pilots and flight engineers.

3. The world's largest, second-largest and third-largest auto markets respectively for 2011 are:

  • A. China, US, Japan

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Charlie Sheen Tour Reviews

Charlie Sheen, the highest paid star of "Two and a Half Men" was fired. He took his "act" on the road for the "My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option" show in various cities across the US. Below is a summary of some of the reviews followed by Sheen's YouTube video, "Charlie Sheen: The Unedited Version."   See Charlie Sheen Fan Club

Tuesday April 5 Cleveland Show:
Janet Nguyen, Full Story, Excerpts:
Sheen was mercilessly booed and heckled Saturday night in Detroit where he kicked off his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour. He revamped the show for his stop in Chicago Sunday night with much better results. He kept the same format for his third stop in Cleveland Tuesday night.
...
Not even 10 minutes into the show, Clevelanders began to chant "F--- Detroit."
...
Another round of cheers and "F--- LeBron" chants took place.
..
Of course the show couldn't end without a discussion about the hit CBS show, "Two and a Half Men," from which Sheen was fired last month for his erratic behavior. Sheen said he would like to rehired back on the show and would be willing to apologize to the show's producers. However, because he is such a good actor, the producers would never know if it was sincere or fake, Sheen joked.
...
The 120-minute show may not have been a true, comedic performance, but it was a perfect act for Charlie Sheen. Although I wasn't impressed with the show's format and content, the Cleveland crowd ate up everything Sheen was dishing out, from the catchphrases (winning!) to the random topics and rambling rants. He ended the show the same way he started it—with a standing ovation.
Overall, a very positive review.

Friday April 8 New York City Show:
Frazier Moore, Full Story, excerpts:
Sure, if Charlie's learn-as-you-go tour were long enough, he might eventually get the hang of it. His learning curve climb has doubtless raised him a few notches since his heroically disastrous opening night in Detroit a week ago — by all reports, the sort of show that is so awful that its witnesses can proudly boast of having been there.
...
The audience that filled Radio City Music Hall's 6,000 seats seemed initially to be a welcoming bunch.
...
What began as supportive yelps and squeals had grown into an inattentive hubbub.
To his credit, Sheen was unfazed by the heckling, though he wondered aloud why people don't plan better. Like, plan to "drink less and not yell at the guy you've been waiting six weeks to see."
At the 45-minute mark, Sheen and Scoleri took a break while his video, "Charlie Sheen Unedited," (already viewed on YouTube more than 1.3 million times) unreeled.
YouTube Video: Charlie Sheen: The Unedited Version

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