To Be 8 Again

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife who was looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

"I'd like to be eight again," she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day!

He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

''I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!"

The moral of the story:

• Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

SEND THIS TO ALL THE MEN & WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH

Daughter Accidentally Finds Her Mother Having an Affair. Then Her Father Calls

Joke: Daughter accidentally finds her mother having an affair.  Then her father calls.....  
Punchline:

After a long pause

Then Daddy says,

"Swimming pool?   ..... is this 486-5731?

Due to the Constant Rise in Energy Prices

Does anyone else get frequent robo calls that lead off with "Due to the Constant Rise in Energy Prices?"

I'm on the do not call list but these continue.  

Kate Upton Wet T-Shirt Video

Katherine Elizabeth "Kate" Upton is an American model and actress best known for her appearances on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues in 2013 and 2014.

Kate Upton packs a beautiful 36-25-34 figure into a 5'11" body.

The famous video started with Kate running on the beach and ended with Kate exiting a swimming pool in a wet t-shirt.

You could skip forward to 1:16 for live action of Kate exiting a swimming pool in a wet t-shirt.

Content removed 3/6/18 per Google AdSense requirement 

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Kate Upton in Wet t-shirt

Kate Upton is 5'11" tall

Kate Upton's measurements are 36" x 25" x 34" (bust x waist x hips)

Kate Upton was born in in St. Joseph, Michigan on June 10, 1992.

Kate Upton is BEAUTIFUL!

Malaysia Flight 370 Vanishing on Radar Video

This is a video showing the Radar Playback of the Moment Malaysia Flight 370 Vanished!

Note that

• @ 0:25 there is a plane flying much faster (3 or 4 times) than any other on the radar then it stalls then vanishes.  Is is stealth?  Was it a stealth fighter jet that returned and crashed into Flight 370?
• @ 2:36 it shows altitude of 35,000 ft flying at 473 knots
• @ 2:38 it shows altitude of 0 ft flying at 0 knots

Click Full Screen on lower right

007 James Bond Girls Now and then

Is the Stock Bull Market Sustainable?

007 James Bond Girls Now and then

1. Honey Ryder, "Dr. No" (1962)       Played by Ursula Andress. 2. Sylvia Trench, "Dr. No" (1962) and "From Russia With Love" (1963)   Played by Eunice Gayson. 3. Tatiana Romanova, "From Russia with Love" (1963)   Played by Daniela Bianchi. 4. Jill Masterson, "Goldfinger" (1964)   Played by Shirley Eaton. 5. Pussy Galore, "Goldfinger" (1964)   Played by Honor Blackman. 6. Domino Derval, "Thunderball" (1965)   Played by Claudine Auger. 7. Aki, "You Only Live Twice" (1967)   Played by Akiko Wakabayashi. 8. Teresa Bond, "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" (1969)   Played by Diana Rigg. 9. Plenty O'Toole, "Diamonds Are Forever" (1971)   Played by Lana Wood. 10. Tiffany Case, "Diamonds Are Forever" (1971)   Played by Jill St. John. 11. Solitaire, "Live and Let Die" (1973)   Played by Jane Seymour. 12. Rosie Carver, "Live And Let Die" (1973) Played by Gloria Hendry. 13. Andrea Anders, "The Man with the Golden Gun" (1974)   Played by Maud Adams. 14. Mary Goodnight, "The Man with the Golden Gun" (1974)   Played by Britt Ekland. 15. Anya Amasova, "The Spy Who Loved Me" (1977)   Played by Barbara Bach. 16. Holly Goodhead, "Moonraker" (1979)   Played by Lois Chiles. 17. Corinne Dufour, "Moonraker" (1979)   Played by Corinne Cl廨y. 18. Bibi Dahl, "For Your Eyes Only" (1981)   Played by Lynn-Holly Johnson. 19. Melina Havelock, "For Your Eyes Only" (1981)   Played by Carole Bouquet. 20. Octopussy, "Octopussy" (1983)   Also played by Maud Adams. (Who actually appeared in different roles in three different Bond films.) 21. May Day, "A View To A Kill" (1985)   Played by Grace Jones. (Who is still fierce as anything.) 22. Stacey Sutton, "A View To A Kill" (1985)   Played by Tanya Roberts. 23. Kara Milovy, "The Living Daylights" (1987)   Played by Maryam D'Abo. 24. Pam Bouvier, "License to Kill" (1989)   Played by Carey Lowell. 25. Xenia Onatopp, "GoldenEye" (1995)   Played by Famke Janssen. 26. Natalya Simonova, "GoldenEye" (1995)   Played by Izabella Scorupco. 27. Paris Carver, "Tomorrow Never Dies" (1997)   Played by Teri Hatcher. 28. Wai Lin, "Tomorrow Never Dies" (1997)   Played by Michelle Yeoh. 29. Dr. Molly Warmflash, "The World Is Not Enough" (1999)   Played by Serena Scott Thomas. 30. Elektra King, "The World Is Not Enough" (1999)   Played by Sophie Marceau. 31. Dr. Christmas Jones, "The World Is Not Enough" (1999)   Played by Denise Richards. 32. Jinx Johnson, "Die Another Day" (2002)   Played by Halle Berry. 33. Miranda Frost, "Die Another Day" (2002)   Played by Rosamund Pike. 34. Solange Dimitrios, "Casino Royale" (2006)   Played by Caterina Murino. 35. Vesper Lynd, "Casino Royale" (2006)   Played by Eva Green. 36. Camille Montes, "Quantum of Solace" (2008)   Played by Olga Kurylenko. 37. Strawberry Fields, "Quantum of Solace" (2008)   FREE ISSUE of "The Retirement Advisor"

Is the Bull Market Sustainable?

Svetlana From Russia Wants to Date Me

Hey my new mate :) 
This is Svetlana. 
I think that my email is a big surprise. 
I have never ever tried online meetings. Hope you are finely surprised. 
My friends suggested me on adopting internet to find people. 
I filled in an online form and submitted it. 
For lots of time I got no reply, so I forgot about the form. 
But today I found a writing and a couple of email addresses. 
I have been told that your details matches mine. 
I considered it a bit and then decided to write you. 
I am friendly and interesting female. 
But in real life I cannot really find a partner, so maybe I will be luckier
on web. 
I hope our friendship can grow into real rapport. So, again my name is
Svetlana. I am 33 y.o. and I live in Russia in a beautiful city close to
Moscow. 
I was born on 31 March 1980. I am single and have no children. 
I will tell you more about myself in further letters. I hope you will get
interested in me and respond me back. 
I send you my photo so you know who you talk to.
Hope to see your reply. My mail is:
Regards,
Svetlana

Warning from Internet eMail Love Scams From Russia

Did you get an email from a beautiful, young Russian woman looking for a good man?

Did you answer her emails with a few short comments and she quickly fell in love with you?

Did she start to talk about her troubles and hint some money would make things better for her so she could perhaps come visit you?

If so, it is probably a scam where the person sending the email may not even be a woman, certainly not the beautiful one in the emails who could get a rich Russian oil baron with her looks. Most probably the only goal is to extract money from you.

Excerpts from letters:

• But have bad news it I had problem at the airport....
• They have told, that this safety operates your country and to pass customs house it are necessary to have 600$.
• But I need 600$, that I pass in customs house. I will return this money for you at airport!
• Please understand me and send 600$ through branch Western Union.
• Now I on-line also look forward to hearing from you.
• I love you!!!

Don't be fooled.