Derivation of the Word Boob

Now we know how the word "boob" was invented!

Daughter Accidentally Finds Her Mother Having an Affair. Then Her Father Calls

Joke: Daughter accidentally finds her mother having an affair.  Then her father calls.....  
Punchline:

After a long pause

Then Daddy says,

"Swimming pool?   ..... is this 486-5731?

Russian Tampon Commercial

"Your puny western ads don't work on Russian women."

Getting old in Florida

Getting old in Florida

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.

A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench.

After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'

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Two elderly people living in Orlando , he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse.
The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'
After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes. Yes, I will!'
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?'
He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ' Yes' or did you say 'No'?'
He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued, 'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'
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A man was telling his neighbor in Melbourne, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it is state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'
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A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Tampa,
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids
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I am sorry you didn't get your Christmas card. I mailed them but I heard from others they were not delivered. I wonder why...

Wong Fook Hing

If you can't find that special book you want, then you are probably shopping at the....

Wong Fook Hing Bookstore picture

That image says it all!

OJ Simpson Jail Picture

OJ Simpson learned the hard way that


what happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas....

behind bars!

Free Mammogram

Beware. This is a scam. The "Free Mammogram Machine" does not work.

Warn your friends this free mamogram is a scam, but it makes a great Halloween costume for "adult" themed parties!

Job Market 2009

This video offers a quick, humorous look at the job market for 2009.



Libor Rates & Historical Libor Rates
Mortgage Rates & Historical Mortgage Rates
Home Equity Loan Rates Historical Home Equity Loan Rates

Highest CD Rates & How to Get the Best CD Rates

Bears Want Your Food and Your Stocks

Hungry bears in the zoo will do anything to get food from onlookers.......


It reminds me of CNBC on a big down day for the markets when they parade out the bears who try to get you to sell your stocks.

Please Don't Feed The Bears (your cheap stocks!)

French Trader Jerome Kerviel FORCED to Work 30 Hours a Week

Friends of rogue French trader Jerome Kerviel last night blamed his $7 billion losses on unbearable levels of stress brought on by a punishing 30 hour week.

Kerviel hid his November losses in a batch of wonderfully fresh croissants.

Kerviel was known to start work as early as nine in the morning and still be at his desk at five or even five-thirty, often with just an hour and a half for lunch.

One colleague said:

"He was, how you say, une workaholique. I have a family and a mistress so I would leave the office at around 2pm at the latest, if I wasn't on strike. "

But Jerome was tied to that desk. One day I came back to the office at 3pm because I had forgotten my stupid little hat, and there he was, fast asleep on the photocopier.

"At first I assumed he had been having sex with it, but then I remembered he'd been working for almost six hours."

As the losses mounted, Kerviel tried to conceal his bad trades by covering them with an intense red wine sauce, later switching to delicate pastry horns. At one point he managed to dispose of dozens of transactions by hiding them inside vol-au-vent cases and staging a fake reception.

Last night a spokesman for Sócíété Générálé denied that Kerviel was overworked, insisting he lost the money after betting that the French were about to stop being rude, lazy, arrogant bastards.

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Video on story:


Humor found on the internet with no credit to the author.
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Cruelest Form of Eye Tests for Old Geezers

Sent to me by a reader via email, this bit of humor made my day.

If you are lucky, the nurse will help you with the exam.